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Thursday, November 29, 2012

How to Fantasize

How to Fantasize
My list of my top ten fantasy guys
Subtitle: To have fantasy does not mean that your life is bad. Mine is AWESOME. I just don’t brag about it because when I see you doing it I know you’re full of bullshit and trying too hard. I’ll stop being a bitch now. Daniel will help. He always does. 

10. Jonas Quinn - Before you start flipping out this is a countdown, not a count up, but I still wanted to start with a Stargate guy.  Look, you can get all crazy purist but I’ve heard Mr. Canadian Hot Pants’ answer to this. They were talking about canceling the show. Man had KIDS to FEED. Got another job. Didn’t cancel show. Hot Pants was occupied but could do part time for a season. THAT IS IT. I have heard it from his OWN mouth. So stuff it - Corin Nemec is HAWT and Jonas Quinn was ADORKABLE and the best part was that the writers decided to ignore that fact rather than throw women at him. Made him that much more innocent. That much cuter. Jonas, baby, I would RUIN YOU. 

9. Indiana Jones - Even now. For real, have you people LOOKED at Harrison Ford? Oh my Athena, there is no way a man in his 70’s should be allowed to look that fantastic. Not only that but Indiana Jones came out when I was a kid and being the super nerd that I was my mom promptly rented the VHS the moment it came out. It even started my little thing with archaeologists (which I wanted to be for a brief moment before I realized that I would starve and probably lose Hot Roommate, neither of which I am willing to do). 

8. Han Solo - Even now. See step nine. Ok, for all of my love of destroying innocents like Jonas, I have a thing for bad guys, even bad guys that turn good. He had me at the moment he shot Greedo (which for the record, he shot first. If you can’t handle that, you can’t love Han Solo). He was bitchy, snotty and not afraid to tell you off. My little friends (yes I wasn’t even born when the first film came out I know, but I WAS 3 for Jedi and 5 by the time mom had pirated all three for me off of HBO) were all in love with Luke, he was so good and cute but nope, not me.  Bring on the pirate. He pretty much smuggled pot for crying out loud!?!? My kinda guy. 

7. Jareth the Goblin King - David Frakkin’ Bowie. In tights. With a baby. Dancing. And singing. There is nothing else that needs to be said. If you need more, well, stop reading and go back to crushing on the little Twilight Boys. 

6. Aragorn OR Legolas - Now, I have lumped these two together not only because they are from the greatness that is the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, but also because as you watch said trilogy you have to go back and forth. Why? Flow chart time!!

   Hot dark broody dude saves adorable hobbits (Aragorn love) ------ > Crazy hot archery while Mr. Broody gets all extra broody over elf girlfriend which now makes him have too much baggage (Legolas love) -------> Then hot broody guy is secret special broody and pledges to defend cute hobbits and forsake greatness (Aragorn love) --------> ENTIRE BATTLE AT ROHAN (Legolas love) -------> Hot broody goes on a quest that may kill him standing up for all of humanity like a BEAST (Aragorn love) --------> CLIMBING ON ELEPHANTS WHILE FIRING YOUR BOW, JOKING AND COUNTING YOUR KILLS (Legolas love) -------> “You my friends bow to NO ONE” 

Aragorn for the win. 

Dammit, I’m now watching Lord of the Ring. Be back in 15 hours...

*Elevator music plays. Don’t tell Shanks. I told him he is my only one and I adore him. But I’m a fan girl slut. He doesn’t need to know that. He can think I’m loyal.*

5. Madmartigan - Ok, so you have probably noticed I have a slight weakness for jerks and Val Kilmer as Madmartigan in Willow is no exception. Dude, he even looked hot wearing a dress!!! But really, is a rebel, could wield a sword, took care of a cute baby, ran around the movie losing clothes left and right, could recite love poetry and defended the little people. Sigh. Sorcha, you are a LUCKY chic. 

4. Daryl Dixon - Now for as Southern as I am, I’m almost never attracted to “Rednecks.” There is nay a country singer I have ever found attractive and camo is a HUGE turn off. However, when you kill zombies with a cross bow, your sleeves ripped off of your shirt and ride a bike, uh, excuse me while I wipe the drool. Ok. Better. Norman Reedus if you are ANYTHING like your character, please know that in the case of an actual zombie apocalypse I will be taking everyone in at the family farm in Virginia. And I have a katana and martial arts training. I welcome you to my zombie fighting team. Please come on bike. 

3. Eric Northman - This little (well not so little) bad guy hottie gets bonus points for being   immortal and having the ability to make me immortal and good powers and being crazy good in bed. He’s a vampire, with clout, that will kill the other vampires or anyone for fucking with you. And since he is a vampire he can just hypnotize people to do what you want or need them to do AND he enjoys being covered in blood so no begging for hot manip pictures. Forget me ruining him, he can ruin me. 

2. Anakin Skywalker - He is THE dark lord of the Sith. He killed EVERYBODY. He gave the Jedi Council the middle finger just to get his groove thing on. He killed nearly everyone in his path to the Dark Side on a total frakkin’ rampage.  Sorry, but that’s just hot. HAWT. He probably could have had me with some lightsaber swinging but when he double saber beheaded Dooku this fan girl was in lust. Done. That was until.....

1. Daniel Jackson. He has brown hair and blue eyes. He speaks at LEAST 28 languages. He is a GENIUS. His name is DOCTOR Daniel Jackson and he is a DOCTOR of archaeology. He is sensitive. He cares about others. He is older. He is buff. He is not afraid to tell you off. He is quick on his feet. His voice makes me melt. He makes me melt. I swear if a genie gave me three wishes I would ONLY need one and I have thought this through: 

“I would like a quantum mirror that takes me to a post SGU Stargate reality in which I am Dr. Adrienne Rowan EXACTLY like in my fan fic and can live and spend time there and return to my own reality to be with Hot Roommate and the kiddos whenever I like and have no time have passed and when I want to be Addy again be able to pop back over to Stargate world and have it be as I left it.” 

I would legit NEVER sleep again. EVER. 

Someone PLEASE find me a genie. 


  1. Nice to know we can both agree on #1. After listening to his audio dramas, he can read the damn phone book for me. Le sexy!

    As for Jonas...oh yeah, I'd do that too! :-)

  2. Boo! Not one of them is on my list. And you forgot Khal Drago!