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Thursday, February 7, 2013

How to Eat Your Words


How to Eat Your Words
Subtitle: I tried to get the kids to watch MY era cartoons.
And my friend wanted me to mock them.
Damn you Jeff 

A critical review of the pilot of Thundercats...
I love you Lion-o



Ok, so I started to do steps with my notes but it got confusing so yeah, stream of conscious is what you get...

Observation 1: From the get go I had to note that these Thundercats of Thundera were naked. Completely naked. Well, ok, except for boots and belts. I mean, I'm trying to determine exactly what type of fashion statement that we're trying to make with just boots and belts. But wait?? Head dude Jaga has clothes....

And the chicks have no nipples...
Not that we needed to see that in a kid's show, but cubs gotta eat. Or kittens?? What IS the appropriate term here? 

Observation 2: Ok, so it seems that the different cats = different races. Should I be offended that the cat CLEARLY representing the black dude is Panthro, which is a black cat normally, and he is a "bald" cat. Probably. But he's kinda hot. Like Morris Chesnut hot......

Stop cheating on Shanks, now, stop. 
I LOVE YOU MR. CANADIAN HOT PANTS 

Who dat?? HAHAHAHAHA!


Observation 3: Oh, hey, that Jaga dude is now addressing the clothing. Wow, we are only like a few minutes in and you have addressed my first question. Damn, I'm impressed, some shows NEVER address anything ever (like, uh, Fringe, why in the HELL some random Swiss scientist would just believe Walter and Michael UNLESS that scientist was a thawed Belly but NO you couldn't just give us a 30 second scene to explain that huh??) Oh, ok, the reason, right, not my ranting. It's protective, but that still doesn't explain the boots or the belts, ESPECIALLY the belts! 

Observation 4: The little cats are nobles. Huh, never knew that. That explains why in the hell they're on the lead ship. It's like Battlestar Galactica. With cats. 

Observation 5: I now have a new reason asserting my belief that I need to resurrect Dante so he can create a separate layer of hell just for George Lucas. I can honestly say that every line Anakin Skywalker had in "The Phantom Menace" was said by Lion-o first in THIS episode. WORD FOR WORD. I would include specific examples but I'm just too lazy. 

Observation 6: Mutants!! Wait, THOSE are mutants. And they are not led by a bald man in a wheel chair (did anyone else notice that I have mentioned bald men MORE than Michael Shanks in this post, well now I haven't but still, kinda weird. Been that kind of week). But for real, no one throwing playing cards or having metal claws shooting out of their hands, what kind of mutants are they? OHHHH...they are COPIES, Mum-ra's copies. That makes sense. 

Observation 7: Ok, I know that we are only at number seven but I have to honestly say that this cartoon makes actual sense, MUCH better than most Sci-Fi shows and it's got me super paranoid about Surprise Package (not sure what that is? CLICK HERE) but each and every thing that I started to make fun of is explained:

1. Why are there not two by two of the animals like Noah's ark if your planet blew up? Just you guys on a ship. Oh wait there's a caravan. And they got blew up. And you explained WHY the main ship didn't get blown up, and how they boarded the ship. 

2. How did Lion-o age and the other's didn't. They DID, he was just like 11 or 12.  IF they aged about 6 years he WOULD look like that but the other adults would not be THAT different. Bravo. 

3. How the Thundercats woke up! Lion-o activated them when the Mutants could not get them out of the pod. Eye of Thundera. 

Need I say more?? Honestly, I was shocked. Seriously, this was hands down an awesome. Well done, explained and had moral lessons. Want to get your kids off the Disney Channel? Show them THIS. Serious quality

And get yourself a glass of wine. You won't need it, but wine always enhances the experience. 



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