How to Blow Up a Twitter Feed

How to Blow Up a Twitter Feed 

Subtitle: I follow so many Stargate people on social media you would have thought that today they announced last days. 

Then again, things have gone too well this week...

Maybe...

I really wasn't paying too much attention to this today as I spent most of the day trying to change the ringer on my Skype work phone because last year that shit haunted my dreams. Oh, and my GRE scores came in so I was a tad preoccupied obsessing over my grad school apps but between my social media exploding and my local friends all texting me about the possibility of a new Stargate movie, I figured I had to weigh in. 

So, how do I feel? Right now, kinda indifferent. First, it's a reboot, which a selfish part of me is happy about. Let's face it, they are not gonna make a move with Shanks and company again simply because our society seems to have an obsession with sexualizing children. So since the gorgeous Amanda Tapping is not 17 with no boobs, she's not blockbuster material, at least here in the US. Now, before you people explode, I think SHE is, I THINK the entire cast of SG-1 is awesome, but let's face it: Hollywood put SHIA LABEOUF in Indiana Jones. A stupid no talent Disney-channel actor. Because we seem to like when Disney actors become disgusting trashy young adults and take their clothes off. 

I hurt for Harrison Ford every time I see the Crystal Skull...

Secondly, unless they're gonna do the story right, there's no point. No matter who you ship in the series, we all have to admit that there was a LOT of trying in seasons 9 & 10 of SG-1 that in some instances made little sense and upset fans who had been loyal for years. I know a lot of people that pretend those last two seasons didn't even exist, some of who came for Browder at the Stargate con I volunteered for, telling me there were there as a FarScape fan only, not season 9 & 10. I think that opinion alone is part of the hesitation.  That and Universe is now part of canon and that didn't go over well in some circles either. 

Oh, and we all know that Daniel ends up with Addy, and unless someone's got Shanks and Bridget Reagan on retainer, let's stick with the reboot. 

Selfish, I know. 

On the other hand though, the reboot could be good, not just as a new movie, but possibly re-imagined in a fun way (Shoot me, but I'm a Trekkie and really like the new Star Trek almost as an Alternate Universe type thing) that could benefit the original show. Next year is the last Stargate Con in the US and they are dying out all over the world, but if there was a reboot, with nods to the original, it could bring a raised interest in the original movie (which made me fall in love with Daniel in the first place) and series (all of them). I teach, for those of you who don't know, and my students are all into ALL of the Treks now because of the new movies. In teaching my AP classes I can now refer to the Kirk/Uhura kiss as we discuss human rights because most of my students have now gone back and watched the original series. Interest in the old movie and series can be good for actors, cons and merchandisers alike, all of whom, in case anyone has forgotten, make a living doing this. I have friends that help organize major cons (names hidden for nutjob reasons) but I know for a FACT a guest can make upwards of $100,000 in one weekend from autographs/talks/photos. 

Sounds like a nice way to travel and make money to me. 

My only caution is this, to whoever may be reading this and can pass this on: 

FOCUS ON THE STORY

Sure, I'm in the league of Daniel's HOTTER THAN HELL like many, but I would NOT have thought that had he just been shooting shit as the camera bounced erratically and forgot the purpose. What sucked me into all of the originals was the story, the complexity of some of the topics covered and how they dug into the characters. I jokingly sent a tweet today about Michael Bay or Bey or whatever, but I can't watch his films. They make me seasick and I completely forget the point of any of it since whatever anyone was trying to say is overshadowed by explosions or the camera acting like a five year old hopped up of caffeine. 

I guess time will tell. I'm still terrified that Disney is gonna screw up Star Wars, but I am hoping that Carrie Fisher would bitch slap anyone even remotely like Selena Gomez and that alone gives me faith. 

(So, any Stargate peeps that might read this and maybe get asked to be a new film - Miley Cyrus HATES 'Twilight' {I'd be happy to mail you a copy to scare her off with} and Robert Pattinson doesn't like to be crowded. I'm just trying to help you guys out here :D ) 

How to Get a Grip

How to Get a Grip

Subtitle: I’m still trying to figure out why you people care so much about Miley Cyrus and not about the subjugation of women as a whole....

No steps this time, but a rant. 

I don’t watch MTV and haven’t for quite some time. I dislike reality television, MTV’s new platform, as I find it boring, predictable and just plain unentertaining, but you know that already. I like SciFi and Fantasy because I LIVE reality and don’t need it to be my outside of real life entertainment. Point being, I didn’t watch Miley’s performance live. 

Problem was, I couldn’t have missed it even if I had wanted to. The next morning, as I checked local news and CNN over coffee, trying to see what was going on in my community, MILEY, looking much like as one blogger put it the scary spider toy in Toy Story, was all over my screen. I mean all over. So much so that banner stories floating along about her performance floated OVER stories about Syria and real issues that I’m trying to keep up with. Rolling my eyes, I clicked to read, wondering what was so awful and horrible that the world was ending over an Ex-Disney Channel star on an awards show. 

I watched it, the entire thing. 

My thought? 

SO FRAKKIN’ WHAT?? 

Seriously, THAT is what gets you upset? Yes, it was horrible, her actions, her costume, her sound, everything about the damn performance, but THAT is what gets everyone worked up?? A no-talent kid of another no-talent singer making a tail of herself, in such a way that she got EXACTLY what she was looking for - SHE MADE THE HEADLINES and is STILL doing it. 

STILL. 

And you, for reading this, and I, for writing this am helping. 

See a problem here? 

I think, however, the bigger problem is this, that we are, yet again, focusing on the wrong issue here. Yep, twerking can be degrading to women. Yep, ‘Blurred Lines’ apparently according to it’s singer was supposed to be about rape culture (even though my naive ass thought first the “blurred lines” between Daniel & Addy as boss and employee, but whatever). 

We as women have lost the place in society that Susan B and Jane Addams and good ‘ole Lizzie Cady Stanton worked so hard for us to have. As the economy got better we allowed our husbands once again to become breadwinners, confining ourselves to the kitchens to bake. Don’t believe me? Go be the working mom at a regional scouting event or a local playground. You’ll be told how much you’re missing having a career, just enough to make you doubt yourself to tears all the way home. We’ve let politicians pander to gender bias and roles, having local meet and greets at nail salons and jewelry boutiques. Barbie’s job selections as you peruse the toy store include only “women’s traditional” jobs or ones that a man can do, but Barbie can do wearing a cute swimsuit. Other popular girls toys are based on TV characters that bemoan math, science and school in general while gushing over the captain of the football team asking them to prom. 

A prom they will spend $500 on a dress for. 

And people will think that’s cute. 

I have even seen more religious friends post Bible versus talking about not supporting their husbands but SUBMITTING TO THEM. I took an ENTIRE women and the Bible class. Guess what? Jesus thought we were equals. 

Just saying.

What happened to you people? 

You see, the problem with Miley Cyrus isn’t that she set women back, because we’ve already beat her to it! Hell, we freak out if a lesbian couple doesn’t have a “butch” one in it (and by ‘we’ I mean straight people who only know gay from TV) because heaven forbid two women in love don’t even fit our stereotype of them either. We created the environment in which a Miley Cyrus can thrive and get attention by allowing our gender to be pigeon-holed only because we have different parts. 

So, the next time you decide to rant about that latest big popular trend for ranting that you see on TV and radio ask yourself the following: 

Am I living my life to its potential or am I worried about if that makes me look like a ‘proper’ lady? 

Did I tell my daughter to be _______ little girl, not because she really needs to be but because that’s her gender role? 

Am I allowing the role models of the my daughter/niece/sister to be boy-obsessed under achievers only concerned with their appearance? 

Am I staring in a mirror, where my daughter can hear, calling myself fat and obsessing because I don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model? 

And does my daughter think we eat right to be thin rather than to avoid heart disease or diabetes? 

And even then, you shouldn’t be worrying about Miley. Let her live her life. Her parents, manager, etc. are gonna have to deal with her bad choices, not you. 

Then go take your daughter for a walk, and talk about the stars and how they are within her reach.

 Because all she has to do is try. 

Girl or not. 

How To Panic

How to Panic

Subtitle: OMA I should have never asked Karen to do a countdown because I am gonna run a marathon in 95 days and I am really scared I am gonna die and that is why I am so sensitive lately. 

Step 1: Make a bad choice. This is honestly and truly easier said than done because we make stupid choices all of the time. We say the wrong things, tell the Mongolian man more spice, going 46 in a 45 in DC to pass the geezer bobbing and weaving, but I mean REALLY make a bad choice. Get all super inspired by a hot fictional archaeologist and start doing things off of your bucket list of life, among those things running in a marathon. Run a 5K, a 10K, a half marathon and then, like an idiot, sign up for a marathon. 

What have I done??

Step 2: Tell every frakkin' person you know. Because in your head you think that by telling everyone that you have made this bad choice that you won't back out. And I mean tell everyone. Put it on every last damn social media that you have, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, rent a biplane to pull a banner across the beach, tell every stranger that you have ever met, "Hi my name is Bri and I'm running a marathon in November..." 

Because then they start asking you about it, and talking about it, and well, we will see how this goes. 

Step 3: Prepare to carry out your bad choice. If you have decided in step one, oh, Bri's got a GREAT idea, let's sign up for a marathon, even though the word marathon itself came from the story of a young man (Pheidippides) running from the Battle of Marathon to Athens to warn the Greeks and he DIED when he got there....

...but anyway, if you are joining me in this insanity you need a guide. I recommend the internet, hell, aren't we using that now instead of a real doctor??

Step 4: Train. Ok, so maybe you aren't running a marathon but I am, this is my blogs so POOPS to you. Let me explain what I do Monday through Sunday, voluntarily and not being chased: 

Monday - Run 4 miles, work upper body.

Tuesday - Crosstrain (i.e. ride bike for an hour), work lower body.

Wednesday - Run 10K (6.25 miles), work upper body

Thursday - Run 4 miles, work lower body or practice yoga

Friday - Crosstrain (see above)

Saturday - Rest (I am a mom so that is a joke)

Sunday - Run 11 miles.

Dude, that's NOW. NOW. As of 9/1 that JUMPS UP LIKE CRAZY.....

What am I doing to myself??

Step 5: Start taking everything personally. Long story short: I don't fit in. Never have. I am Southern and live in the South, but I am not what a Southern woman is supposed to be. Let's add to the mix that my father, who of COURSE has been weighing in on this, left us, and has spent my entire life telling me how beautiful the strippers he takes calendar pictures of are and how heavy and mannish looking YOU (me) am, but anyway. I'm a sensitive person in the first place, but what's got me freaking out right now is that every time I am 'not good enough' for something, it translates to this. 

I'm not as pretty as my dad's latest -> I can't do this. 

You don't accept me --> I am not good enough to do this. 

I got bad news at work - > I don't deserve this. 

I've gained weight that I can't explain and am not pregnant ---> See idiot, you can't do this...

So, if I have an outburst on Twitter, Facebook or on here, this is what it is. Nothing personal, nothing funny, just it is what it is. 

I'm terrified. 

Step 6: Ask a friend to make a countdown. You need this EVERY single time you go to give up because it's like your friends way of saying DO THIS. 

DO IT. 

OR else. 

Step 7: Start having strange dreams. Like really strange. Ok, I love Michael Shanks, I do, but my fantasies, and you people know what I mean by fantasy, if not you are too young to be reading this, but my fantasies are DANIEL JACKSON. NOT a happily married man. And in said fantasy, I am Dr. Adrienne Rowan (Jackson - depending on where in my storyline I want to imagine). But, in the stress of this all, I have starting dreaming. 

About MICHAEL frakkin SHANKS. 

REPEATEDLY. 

What in the heck?! 

And then I wake up feeling guilty, which leads to not being good enough again because a nasty home wrecker doesn't deserve a marathon medal which takes us back to step 6....

PLEASE dream about Daniel tonight....

Step 8: Try to scratch off another bucket list item. Like find a PhD program and meet with the director and think oh I have a year to do this because you are supposed to take a good year or at least six months only to find out that they want you application THIS cycle, in less than six months and start your frantic request for recommendation letters, and register for GRE (I HAVE NOT DONE THIS IN YEARS), drive around for transcripts like a mad woman. 

Seriously, why are you people letting me do this?

Real friends stop friends from doing stupid things...

Just saying. 

Step 9: Run, sweat, refocus, and take a breath. 

I might be able to do this. 

Maybe? 

It's 26.2 miles and I can run 11 without any pain. 

I have a half marathon on September 22nd and I'm not panicking about that...

Yet...

Ok, Bri, you Changed Your Stars, you can do this...

Step 10: Blog about it. Trust me, it's cathartic. You sit down, looking at the three ringed circus that is your life, mock it, laugh about it, and reflect on it. And to be honest, maybe there is another nut who is going through the same thing and just wants to know that they are not alone. You're not. Trust me. 

We can just get committed together....