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Monday, June 2, 2014

How to End the Mommy Wars

How to End the Mommy Wars
Subtitle: My response to the viral articles that have been gaining momentum, and what I think a NORMAL person has to say. 
Sub sub title: My blogs are long, kiss it. If you want lists go to Buzzfeed.

Here I was, trolling Facebook, pissed of because my DAMN Achilles Tendon is acting up again and I couldn't run much today when I found THIS article: 


I clicked, of course, because as the parent that LITERALLY was GAWKED at at my kid's school a few times (the most notable being when my hair was blue) I was curious. See, in some ways as a parent I am VERY traditional, when in others liberal does not go as far to describe how I parent. So when it comes to ending the "Mommy Wars" I'm all for it, because life shouldn't be a constant competition of trendy bullcrap that makes you look better than the next person, it should be about having a good time, making a difference, or treating others with respect.

I clicked. 

*facepalm* 

Ok, can I make this ANY clearer...

LIFE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE! THERE IS GRAY AREA!!!

*Full disclosure*

As soon as I typed that I searched for a particular quote on living in absolutes to use and make sure it was correct attributed but this one is much better:


We ALL know what happens after this right? 

If not, you might wanna start watching Star Wars. 

Ok, so here is my response for the "Ending the Mommy Wars" - the COMMON SENSE version. 

*Disclaimer #2* - I am WELL aware of them using absolutes as an illustration of the different ends of the spectrum. Emotional, brow-beaten moms and the general public may NOT be as aware. 

Image 1: 

Natural Home Birth vs. Scheduled C-section

Here's a concept...ASK YOUR DOCTOR!!! 

Put aside the crap you've read on trendy grocery store magazines and ask someone who spent MOST of their adult life learning how to understand the human body and let THEM guide you. I have actually seen blogs discuss doctors "selling out" to big pharm blah blah blah. 

Then YOU'VE got the wrong doctor. 

Get off your butt and find a good one and stop letting someone with a computer and internet connection tell you what is best for you, your child and your body (yes, I too see the irony in that statement). 

Image 2: 

Breastfeed versus formula. 

I formula fed Will. 

I breastfed Clare. 

I did not feel connected with my child or any of that other stuff breastfeeding. 

I know right? The horror! I am SUCH a bad mom. 

Point is, I was formula day one and am a successful person. My sister was breastfed from day one and is a honors college student. We are both VERY healthy and active. You can do either, both, or a mix, as I did. 

Your kid will NOT die, trust me. 

Image 3: 

Work "outside" the home versus Stay at home mom. 

First, as someone who works FULL time in a CAREER position INSIDE the home, I take offense at that PC "outside the home" nonsense. Let's call a spade a spade, you either work or you don't. 

AND IT DOESN'T MATTER!!

OR, god forbid, you can work part-time inside the home, or outside of the home, or do home-sales, or be a stay at home mom that keeps kids or be a stay at home mom that is a super volunteer in your kids lives. 

Just get over that work crap already. 

Image 4 - 7: I was ok with these, I felt they were pretty reasonable. Any you want me to address, let me know in the comments :) 

Image 8: 

The fact that you had to put "reasonably" in your poster pretty much makes my entire case here and negates your article. Who are you afraid is gonna call you out? That disclaimer being needed pretty much makes those of us who let them cry it out (and you're damn right I did, after I changed, food check etc., you cry, I leave room and done) now have to define reasonable thereby starting another mommy war. 

Nice move there...

Image 9: 

And the bi parents? Just sayin'

Image 10: 

Again, ok fine, no beef.

Image 11: 

Ok, this is getting long for me and I'm just too bored to continue. My point is this. My kids eat McDonald's and they also like to walk to the farm stand a few miles down the road and pick out organic watermelons. There IS a middle ground, one founded in REASON and LOGIC. There is NO such thing as the perfect parent, even if you follow every trend, every book that Dr. Sears puts out, every ounce of guidance from your parents. 

You're gonna screw up, probably a lot. 

You're gonna have to do different things for different kids that work for YOUR family. 

And you know what? The fact that you took the time to CARE enough to even read something like this, says a lot about how much you care anyways. 

Keep fighting the good fight!

Sincerely,
A NOT SO PERFECT Mom :) 





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