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Monday, August 11, 2014

How to Look Back

How to Look Back
Subtitle: Ok, look, just bear with me on the serious for a moment. 

I'm dragging myself out of bed this morning. 

My "summer" is over, and it's back to work, students, classes, and real responsibilities. There only remains one more thing to attend and that's Stargate Con, the last one ever and will probably be my last con ever, or at least the last one I try so hard to get to. 

Two years ago I was packing, getting a rental car, sitting in my office staring at ONE ticket for ONE photo op, my heart racing. See, I've never really understood the celebrity thing, they're just people that chose a different career path. They wanted to be actors like I wanted to be an educator and I appreciate their passion and the fact they share their art with us because I sure as hell need a break at the end of the day, in love with my job or not. 

Yet here I was, staring at a photo op for Michael Shanks. Nope, he's not Alexander Skarsgard, or whoever the heck else you people wanted to play that bondage dude in that dirty Twilight fanfic movie. He's just a regular old person who happened to play my favorite fictional character of all time. Many of my readers already know that after beginning my teaching career I suffered some set-backs, the greatest of which was serious depression, and that for some strange reason Daniel Jackson was the thing that got me out of that funk. 

So, I went, jumped into that poor man's arms and hugged the shit out of him. He just smiled and laughed it off. 

It's two years later. In that time since I first turned on that show, bored, unable to sleep and trying to distract myself from the horrible thoughts running through my head, my life continues to push forward. 

I got myself back to the physical fitness level of my high school martial arts fighting days. 

I have soared at work, from part-time teacher to full-time teacher and curriculum consultant. 

I ran a marathon and I will run another this fall. 

I got into a Tier 1 PhD program in Education and am kicking its ass. 

I have been asked to adjunct professor at my Alma Mater. 

I was made president of the PTA at my children's school. 

My life has changed, and in part, I have a fictional archaeologist to thank for it. 

This weekend I will go to Stargate con. I will go and talk about my "Fan Fic" because yep, I wrote a fan fic, NOT to have creepy Stargate porn but because Daniel deserves the happy ending that I got. I gave him that in a story that will never see a screen, but in my heart I can thank him with. I will volunteer, not because I'm too poor or cheap to buy the Gold Ticket, but because I feel like I'm thanking Daniel/Shanks/Stargate MORE by volunteering to make it a better experience for people; I OWE Stargate that much and wanna do what I can to give back. I will get another damn photo op, and take another damn picture with this poor sweet man that humors me as I am NOT a super fan and know nothing of his personal life that he himself does not post on social media, yet he is kind and smiles nonetheless. I will go and see the amazing friends that I have made on this journey, and we will drink margaritas and eat hot dogs and hope I don't get locked out of my rental car :P. 

And then it will be over. It will be the last, because really, even if they continue with the rebooted movies, that's not gonna be my Stargate and that's not gonna be my Daniel. 

It's not gonna be who saved me. 

Thanks shug, for everything. 


  1. Brianne, I feel the same way about Stargate SG1 and Daniel Jackson. I took care of my mother who had alzheimers for several years. There were times that escaping into the world of Stargate and Daniel Jackson felt like the only things keeping me sane. Mom passed away 2 years ago, Dad thirteen days later. Although I have never and never will meet Michael Shanks I will forever be grateful for his portrayal of Daniel Jackson.:)