Our living nightmare

No pretty images, or snarky remarks, just an update. 

If you are reading this, thanks, and sorry that this will lack the humor of my previous posts. Following the completion of my marathon, I was accepted to VCU for a PhD in Education. I only mention that to explain my absence from this platform and apologize for how long it has been. Over the course of my PhD my life changed a lot. I got divorced, because my husband at the time just did not share the same vision for our future and the future of our family. I met the love of my life, the geek I had always hoped for,  and we were married in one of my favorite places, the Stargate convention. And, just days after I defended my proposal, while my entire family was celebrating in Disneyworld and getting ready for Christmas, own home burned to the ground. 

We lost everything, including our rescue tortoises, cats, lizards, guinea pigs, ferrets, rats and my beloved dog Gaia, my best friend and companion for a decade. 

It's still hard to type that, as I still wake up every day hoping that it was all just a bad dream and it is over. 

I don't remember much of the aftermath. I remember being at the O'hana breakfast and getting the call from the Fire Marshall and falling to the floor of the Polynesian Hotel. I remember being numb the train ride home. I remember the firefighters and my husband pulling me from the ground as I sobbed into the ashes of my home. And, more than anything, I remember the outpouring of love from my friends and family. Meals, gift cards, things for the kids. It was completely amazing. 

So, moving forward we hit our first hiccup. My ex, money-hungry as he and his family have always been, saw my insurance payments as an opportunity to cash out. Planning to rebuild was halted, as I had to spend over $1500 of our meager savings to fight my ex to not force me to sell the land, the only place my children had ever known as a home, and instead allow me to buy him out. It took a number of legal calls, etc. but in the end, I owned the land with the destroyed house outright, and my ex was off of the land and house that I, AND I ALONE, had worked so hard to get. 

Finally, finally, we were free and clear to start. We found a plan that we loved as a family, and with a little tweaking would meet the guidelines as set forth with the insurance company (comparable size). We went with a builder, ACB Construction, who has worked with my mom (who is a realtor). He was very excited by our modern plans and industrial concept and assured us that we would be in by this summer to celebrate. 

Rain delayed the start of the build but finally (and I mean finally, because for some reason nothing could get done for a few weeks even after the rains stopped) we got started. From the very beginning there were problems (the lender, for one, was strongly recommended by the builder, was a commercial lender and not a residential one, and this caused a number of delays as he did not know how to set-up a residential construction loan...) but we had a contract and to break the contract would cost us $40,000...

So we persevered. We stayed on top of the contractor who continued to not give us items promised us on the contract: Draw Schedule? Nope. Selection Sheets? Allowances? Nope Nope NOPE. He grew angrier every time we found an error (incorrect showers installed, light fixtures in the wrong place, lack of insulation in specified areas). He even tried to convince us that we needed roof that cost an additional $7800, and tried to get us to agree to "help him with the cost" without a change order (a legal requirement in our state). The straw that broke the camel's back was our siding, what we had been promised would be Hardie Plank siding, was instead Hardie Board (the flat board used UNDER flooring) was used, with NO texture and the builder planning to just paint over it. My husband was LIVID and could not believe that was the siding. We met the builder, and talked out our issues, and everything seemed alright. 

So, last Friday, I ride out to the house to feed our livestock (which survived the blaze). I discover that the contractor has not only done NONE of the things we requested, but I found the sheetrock crew in the house, rocking over things that should have been insulated. We called the builder, and on a Friday, he didn't answer. (He had told us that he does not work weekends, but evidently Friday is a weekend as well). We left a message, trying to explain what was happening, and for him to call us. We heard nothing for all of Friday and Saturday. Sunday rolls around and he calls. We tried to explain our position and he became enraged, screaming and yelling. The entire call became a shouting match, with the builder insulting me and my husband. Everything we said he took as a personal insult and when I asked for invoices and the documents (listed above) we were promised, he quit and hung up the phone on us. 

That was yesterday. As of today he has contacted all sub contractors to cancel all work. The shady bank does not want to work with us at all to finish, even though we are in the trim out stage. We have called an attorney, but in the meantime my children will come home from camp this week only to discover that the house they has just picked fixtures for is now in limbo. 

I'm not sure why I wrote this post. Maybe I just needed to get it out. My life is a living nightmare and I am struggling to figure out why me, and more importantly my kids, deserve this. 

A letter to my Representative

Dr. Brat,

Brianne XXXXXXX here (RMC, class of '01) and I am writing to urge you to do something, anything, to stand out against the ease in which people can obtain and use military-grade weapons in this country. I include my graduating class as I respect you outside of this office and want you to know that I am fully aware of not only how hot-button an issue this is, but that I understand the facts of the matter as they stand.

1. I realize "owning guns" is part of the 2nd amendment. I majored in History. However, this amendment, as you know, specifically calls for a "well-regulated militia." The fact that my neighbors, who DRINK while SHOOTING "legal" semi-automatic weapons at all hours of the night is proof enough that we are not well-regulating any sort of militia. In fact, the level of regulation for something that constitutionally is supposed to be regulated is astounding compared to the lengths I have to go through to drive a car, register property, get married or divorced, all of which are activities that are not created to kill. Gun, however, are created for exactly that purpose. There is only a background check, no requirement to actually prove the ability to use such a weapon and no continuing education/renewal to continue such usage (as we are required to for an automobile). It just doesn't make any sense.

2. Isolated incidents of crime such as this are typically found to be tied to mental illness, despite the rallying cries of terrorism/gun control/etc. And yet, that being the case, your party does nothing in terms of promoting better mental health care. In fact, the Republican party, the party that is supposed to represent the Christian faith, casts aside "lepers" in such a fashion that is not only disappointing, but contrary to the faith they claim to support.

3. Finally, the United States touts itself as the great "Melting Pot," the "Land of Opportunity" and a place of equality. However, rarely do I see our representatives on popular media platforms reminding people of this very fact. You don't have to like what an individual does in their personal life, but as long as it is not a violation of the law, they have a right to do it. Instead, you are letting your party be represented by reality television trash, someone who I was forced to endure my parents and my ex-husband watch on television, who called women derogatory names, uses constant hateful and racial slurs, and brags about cheating the system. This is the person who commented on this tragedy, and of course, did so in a crass uneducated manner. Where are MY representatives? If mainstream media cuts these things out, then you know what? Stop buying $400 ink pens and get a Congress cable channel and report to us yourselves. Not CSPANN, but an actual outlet where you can do what the founders intended representatives to do: report to the people. Not hide in their offices.

In understand the difficulty in what you do. I myself have been approached to run for local office here in Hanover, and have politely refused, as it is a responsibility I do not wish to bear. However, those who do must do so for the greater good and not for their own personal glory. That's why become educators after all, right? You weren't going to become wealthy and famous teaching at R-MC, no more than I will when I begin my own professor post once my doctorate is complete. Representing the people of your country should be no different.

Thank you for your time. I hope to see you around campus soon.

A rambling on the state of things

Let’s be honest for a moment…

America was founded by those seeking “fortune and glory,”

It was populated by those wanting to be who they were, without persecution,

It was won by those who saw the opportunity to be great, even if it took change and sacrifice,

It was strengthened by creators, thinkers, challengers, those who took up the mantle to question,

And then it stopped.

Because despite those seeking fortune and glory nearly ruining it all, TWICE, in ONE century, WE, the creators, thinkers, challengers, those wanting to be who we are have stopped.

We’ve stopped creating.

Instead we copy what has been done before, calling it upcycling, rebranding, as if it is actually an original idea...

We’ve stopped thinking.

Instead we allow others to think for us, citing religion, citing articles on social media, citing news outlets, citing friends…

We’ve stopped challenging.

Instead we worry about who we might anger, because that’s uncomfortable and any argument any confrontation is unhealthy and toxic and that needs to end. Drug it, stop it, NO bad feelings here, let’s all live in a happy haze of never worrying about anything not being hunky dory all the time…

We’ve stopped taking up the mantle.

Instead we pick easy causes and let ourselves get distracted by things that are non-issues and by celebrity gossip while the real problems just keep mounting…

And we’ve stopped being who we are because we’re so worried about who someone else WANTS us to be…

And then it’s over, or it’s over for someone else, and we make a meme or write a eulogy and talk about missed opportunities and reflections and changes that will never be taken again only to go back and not take them ourselves.

Because we won’t create, think, challenge, or do ANYTHING.

And we let those who destroyed the first people to take their riches, and those who are destroying us to take ours just keep destroying.

But it’s ok.

The Voice is on.

And click the red “x”.